From Phi Phi we took a ferry to Krabi, then a crazy ass open sided bus which was full to overflowing causing TC to have to sit at the back, clinging on for dear life and inhaling exhaust fumes and then a longtail boat to Ton Sai. All this with a heinous hangover and minimum sleep.
We arrived on the beach and decided breakfast was far more urgent than locating our accommodation. I opted for scrambled eggs on toast and was not peturbed when mother of former eggs and two siblings were shooed out of the restaurant by the waiter.
With no map to guide us, TC went off to search for our hotel and I stayed with the bags.
She returned with the hotel owner and van and we and bags were transported up the hill and into the jungle, no I am not over exaggerating. Xarini was in the jungle and had to hike to get to/ from reception to room, hotel to beach, there were Beware, naughty monkey! warnings.
We dined that night on some delightful curries but shockingly sugary ginger ice tea at the nearby Dream Valley Resort.
You're maybe wondering why this edition seems somewhat brief, a little thin on the ground? That's because I'm eager to cut to the chase! Heterosexual male readers, stop now.
"Hello boys..."
When you arrive here it's not easy to tell if the soupy closeness of the air is caused by humidity or pure testosterone. There are men, everywhere. Let me rephrase that, half dressed, super fit, adrenaline junkie, men..... EVERYWHERE!!
Photos? No, that would be blatant objectification and wrong, however perving from behind your sunglasses/magazine whilst sucking on the straw in your coconut milkshake is positively encouraged!
There are short ones, tall ones, tanned, blonde, dark, shaved, bearded, tattooed, you name it they got it AND muscles.
You can spot the single girls they are the ones distractedly walking into furniture, tripping over their own feet or leaving the sea with a sway of the hips and winning smile only to find that if you follow the gaze of the hot guy who was staring at you so intently, you'll find that it's not you he's eyeing up but the rocks behind, above, beside you. If you do indeed follow his gaze you'll find a load of half naked men hanging on and swinging from said rocks causing you to swoon. Not bad if one of the above happens to be a rather intense Australian doctor you befriended earlier.
TC and I were quietly having lunch, vegetable pad thai and a spicy papaya salad when we were adopted by a group of Dutch sailors. One being the new owner of Maremagnum complex in Barcelona, another a shareholder in our favourite hangout, Bed Supper Club. They joked, we laughed they bought more Singhas. Then it was time for them to leave before the tide went out and stranded them.
Before we'd had time to draw breath we were joined by the Australian doctor. "I've just arrived" he said, "Can I hangout with you guys?" "Sure!" cried TC, I mumbled something unintelligible.
Now, those that know me would not use shy as a word to describe me but right now I was struck dumb like a 14 year old at a school disco having just been asked to dance.
When I finally regained the power of speech, we chatted, we joked, I wanted to break my leg just to have him fix it. The opportunity did indeed arise as he and TC agreed it would be a great idea to climb over the rocks to the next resort, Railay. I turned to TC and remarked on the amount of beer we had drunk, "C'mon, it'll be fun!" yelled the doctor as he bounded off tigger style.
What is usually an 80 baht longtail boat ride can be done by foot at low tide, says the guidebook. They fail to mention the slippy, spiky rocks that are exposed after the water receeds.
Was it the beer or the doctor that propelled me onwards? All I know is I did it without falling and beamed with pride when I got to the beach on the other side. "Nice footwork" said the doctor, I stared at my toes.
Ton Sai is a hippy, climber's jungle haven wedged between chavtastic Ao Nang and as the doctor would say "shiny" i.e. posh, Railay.
On Railay, there was a main walking street and string of 5 star resorts. The three of us headed up the road when TC decided she'd rather stay on the beach and wandered off leaving me with the doctor.
What is it with these climber dudes they don't drink, they don't smoke, they're all bouncy and smiley and...nice. In such a way as to make you feel like the whore of Babylon for wanting to, erm, get to know them. At least that's how I felt especially as I had ascertained he was a few years my junior.
Anyways, I began to behave a little more normally as I reckoned my hedonistic self would be repugnant to him so therefore had nothing to lose, and agreed to accompany him to Tham Phra Nang Nai (Diamond Cave). Wooden walkways weave through the limestone stalagmites and stalactites, the jewel in the crown being a softly lit dusky pink quartz waterfall.
We wandered back to the beach to collect TC before heading back to Ton Sai. The sun was setting so I had thought the three of us would take a longtail back. However, TC was nowhere to be seen. After a quick text, I discovered she had already returned. Before I could even begin to consider the implications, the doctor had suggested we take the slippy, rocky route back, in the dark with the the added risk of the tide returning.
Having already pushed myself far out of my comfort zone on this trip e.g. wearing flip flops outside the house and wet shaving my legs, I thought, what the hell! Surely my travel insurance would cover it and I was with a bonafide doctor. I made it without assistance or injury and to this day I'm still feeling very impressed with myself.
We had been due to move on to Khao Lak but after some discussion, TC and I decided we'd had enough of packing/unpacking, ferries et al.
Thus our last few days together in Thailand were spent mooching for gifts in Ao Nang, where I was tempted to purchase a fake Tiffany bracelet until TC pointed out it would indeed turn my wrist green, so I settled for a Louis Vuitton lighter! Lying on the beach putting the world to rights, drinking beer and talking to the boys.
One bar we frequented had a tightrope strung between two palms. Daring climbers could be found bouncing on it until upstaged by the young Thai guy from the restaurant nextdoor.
Since day one, TC had wanted to try it, on our last night in Ton Sai, fuelled by Chang beer and with the help of the Thai kid, her wish came true. She beamed like a child and despite my being hanging from the night before, I was happy for her.
The next day we had tickets booked for a ferry/bus to Phuket and flight to Bangkok. We were at the meeting point, second palm on the left in front of the Viking restaurant and we waited.
Not much happened and the gathered longtail drivers didn't look too bothered. Finally, one began to yell "Phuket, Ko Lanta!!!!!" We leapt onto the boat like experts, the trick, you see, is to fling your flip flops in first. When exiting the boat be sure to fling them far enough inland or have to fling yourself into the water to catch them before they float away...
The boat headed out to sea and then stopped. I considered there maybe some sort of traffic jam as longtails zipped around. I even quipped, "What would be really bad was if we had to do do some sort of mid ocean boat to boat transfer, what with the bags and all."
It was as if I had summoned some evil jinx for no sooner had the words left my lips than two ferries loomed into view. "Phuket." was all I said.
We and bags made it, on arrival in Phuket we had to cross, not two but three ferries to get to land and I managed all of this during my "lady days" as TC calls them.
There is nothing ladylike about my days, each month I am struck down when my body commits a heinous crime against itself, causing anemia, severe pain, trips to A&E and often being unable to walk. Enduring all this, I made it from the jungle, through the mid ocean thing, a 2 hour ferry journey, a 45 minute bus journey and then to Phuket airport.
Oh my sweet Jesus! Where do I begin? Living it up in the jungle, we had clearly forgotten about the outside world, hell, you only get electricity between 18:00-06:00!
Phuket brought us back to earth with a bang! It was like an international chavfest and amongst the dodgy hair braid/beads, Evisu jeans and caps were the sad, seedy couples of older, unattractive western male and much younger and prettier Thai girl.
Eventually after a few gate changes and much hilarious people watching we boarded our Air Asia shiny new A320 back to Bangkok.
Our last night in Thailand, our last night together was spent eating yellow curry, getting lost and being chased by a dog.
Just like that, Thailand was over and I'm on my own. My brain still hasn't quite come to terms with the fact that I'm here let alone that this stage is over.
Thanks to TC for easing me into the whole travelling thing, the laughs and watching my back.
Next stop, Kuta - Bali, Indonesia.
- Posted from my iPhone
1 comment:
aaahhhh i sooo miss all this :) xx
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