Oh my darling, Phi Phi! I'd heard such bad things about you, been warned against visiting by so many, even told that Ko Lanta was better - eh???!!! I'm so glad I heeded none of it and only wish I could have stayed longer.
We arrived by ferry a tad hungover and me somewhat weirded out by the stalker French dude from the night before.
This island hopping, water transport thing is indeed fab but can be a little tricky when toting a 19kg pack. I had planned ahead making things as easy for myself as possible by employing a switch pack, a wheelie bag that converts into a backpack. To date, I have not used the back straps and do not intend to! TC however is hardcore and staying true to the traveller ethos by sporting more traditional luggage.
At Phi Phi pier we plus packs were required to pass from not one but two ferries before reaching dry land. Whilst I was blinking with a slight pout pondering how, TC had swung her load on to her back and was marching away. This was the fatal mistake which would trigger a chain of events causing her to throw a temper tantrum when we finally arrived at our hotel. She had made herself look too capable.
Now, I am not usually in the habit of using my feminine wiles to coerce men into doing things for me, not purposely anyway. However, when I finally roused myself from my reverie having confirmed with self that I was not using the straps come hell or high water. I turned around to be greeted by several offers of assistance by male passengers and staff alike.
Thus, me and my baggage were carefully lifted and bouyed across and onto dry land. Whilst TC looked on, dumbfounded and sweating.
I then proceeded to flash my winning smile put my wheels in gear and head for the hotel porter. I could hear TC puffing and wheezing behind me so I thought it best to take charge of the situation, giving her chance to catch up. Mistake number 2, as I got to the porter first, checked our names on his list, he promptly picked up my bag and beckoned us to follow. So we did, TC still carrying her pack and starting to turn purple in the face.
We rounded a corner where the porter had a trolly for the baggage, he swung mine in then walked off to confer with a colleague. Mistake number 3, TC could take no more and let out a howl of anger, and jettisoned the cursed pack onto the ground next to the trolly.
"What am I, invisible?!" she screamed, "Do I look like as if I don't need help?!!!" she continued. I realised now was not a good time to answer, "Well, yes, actually. You need to stop looking quite so, capable".
Instead, I muttered something about the porter being a bit rude and tried to avoid her laser scowl. You'll be pleased to know, when he returned he hoisted TC's pack into the trolly and we were on our way, "FINALLY!!!!" thundered TC.
This was all soon forgotten when we got to our bungalow. Jungle living had been taking it's toll and were ready for some modern amenities. AC, hot water, tea & coffee making facilities and a full length mirror! To us, this was the Ritz.
As we basked in the electronically cooled air our hangovers resurfaced with a vengance and we headed out for some breakfast.
Now, since I have been in Thailand, as promised, I have been gorging myself on all kinds of curry, noodle, soup and other such spicy local thing. However, now was neither the time, nor the place as I slowed to a crawl outside the Little Britain cafe.
In my defence, can I point out, I do not live in England so for me a full English is a rare treat as was visiting Boots in Bangkok.
I could barely control my salivation as I chowed down on hash browns, beans, mushrooms, scrambled eggs and proper wholemeal toast.
Sated, we returned to the hotel for a siesta, we only reemerged when hunger forced us out again. I won't tell you what I ate, ok, it was a pizza but I had had dodgy guts since Lanta and couldn't face any more chilli, ok?
Still feeling a little worse for wear, I headed back to the hotel and TC went for a massage. At the hotel, I discovered there was trouble in paradise, mosquitoes, loads of them in our room. I doused myself in Avon's Skin So Soft dry oil, a layer of Autan deet spray, some Johnsons anti mosquito baby oil and as a final touch donned an insect repelling wristband. War was declared as I employed and perfected my grandmother's age old technique of clapping and thus killing the critters between my palms.
Eventually I dozed off but awoke a little while later with a burning sensation all over my body. I turned on the light and went to the mirror, to my horror, I was covered head to foot in angry red bumps, heat rash. I downed an antihistamine, went back to bed and hoped tomorrow would be a better day.
It was, breakfast was a huge plate full of fried rice then TC and I headed to the beach to visit the tsunami memorial garden.
It could be all too easy amongst the disco bars and pizzerias to forget the tragedy that occured here on Boxing day 2004. Many lives were lost and there was total devistation when this tiny island was attacked from both sides by 5 metre waves. Let's pray it never happens again.
I then parked myself, as usual in a shady spot on the beach, this time with a hotel supplied towel. TC went off for yet another stress busting massage, after yesterday, she needed it!
I had been warned that Phi Phi would be rammed full of drunken twentysomethings and hordes of daytrippers. I hate to disappoint but the beach was quite peaceful the most disturbing thing being the amount of glowing honeymooners who insisted on asking me to take their photos.
Ao Lo Dalam beach is small but perfectly formed and when the heat got too much, I headed out into the sea. I walked and walked some more and then some but the water only ever came up to mid thigh. No chance of me doing a Halle Berry-esque exit then.
I splish-splashed back to a deck chair under an umbrella at a bar and ordered my favourite fresh coconut, yum! That was followed by a Singha, surely TC should be back by now? There was no sign of her and when I could take no more of talking to myself, I returned to the hotel to find our room key at reception, so where was she?
Nevermind, I took the opportunity to have a super long shower and with Mystic Meg type foresight packed up my stuff as we were leaving the next day.
Still no word from TC so I left her a note and went off for some dinner. I enjoyed a soup like yellow curry in a low key place then headed to Carlito's, 90 baht for a Singha and 10 baht to use the loo! I was not impressed.
After several random texts I was reunited with a very jolly TC. When I asked her what she had been up to it transpired that after her massage she had fixed herself in a bar for some free wifi but this also included drinking several beers followed by a few margaritas.
I was determined to catch up. A few beers and a huge glass of wine later TC and I were given a flier for the Apache bar, offering a free bucket at 23:30, bonus!
Off we trotted, their free drink offer was effective and the place began to fill up nearer the time. I fought my way to the bar, claimed my prize and took a great gulp of..... Sprite. At least that was all it tasted of to me.
By now TC and I were in full holiday party mode, dancing like loons to 90s house. I sat out the Spice Girls and laughed hysterically as TC ambled through the Macarena.
Then, I was quite literally swept off my feet as I did my usual trick of walking into people. I was suspended mid air by an Australian rock climber.
We danced, we laughed and were the last to leave. As we did, we found TC outside talking to his Thai friend. I had also befriended a crazy girl from Hong Kong who had stolen a coconut from the beach and was encouraging people to kiss it for good luck. I did, and so did he.
TC, the Thai guy, the climber and I headed to the 7-11 to grab some beers before heading to the beach. Afterall, it was a full moon, hence all of the chavs and frat kids were out of town preferring the mega full moon parties of Ko Pha Ngan.
It was like something out of a movie, the beach was flooded with moonlight, fairy lights twinkled in the trees.
TC retired early as she had yet to pack. I hung out with the guys and then the Thai guy left too.
Then it was just me and the rock climber. Girls (& some guys I know!) if you have ever been here or ever do, do not be sucked in by the eye candy blondeness of the divers, it's all about the climbers!
I flip-flopped, glowing back to our hotel around 09:00. I grinned at TC who was not coping with her hangover or packing and jumped in the shower.
We were ready just in time for the same porter to take our bags back to the pier and our 10:30 ferry.
Next stop, Ton Sai on the mainland which according to my guidebook is a climber's delight...mine too!
- Posted from my iPhone
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